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The wealthy Lord, who once found himself in a small town, entered the Golibrod and ordered to shave. He barely sits on the armchair, sees the fan spitting on the soap and lubricating his face with it. Outraged, he calls: So do you shave so many people? It shines brighter, Lord, I spit at them straight to the beard, like the local shin, but I have to be more gentle with you as a stranger, so I spit only on soap – the answer was given.
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Wife: “How can you give your hand to such a thief?
Husband: “For as long as I hold his hand, I’m sure he won’t put it in my pocket.
A cure for sorrow.
A young milker stands with a cheerful face next to her donkey, pulled into a milk cart. At one point she is caught by a passing boy.
– Ey, girl, you had to be saved by your fiancée when you’re so cheerful!
Milker: Well, this kiss will make you laugh?
Boyfriend: Naturally, the kiss of a young boy… (inclining towards it) Maybe we will try…
Dairy: Oh no, I’m already quite happy and without that, but kiss my donkey, because he’s still so sad.
A wise bear.
This is happening in America. One settler swam across the lake in a large boat when he suddenly saw a bear from a nearby island entering the water to swim into a coastal forest. The settler was without a shotgun, but had a great desire for a bear, so he decided by all means to prevent him from coming back to the island again, and then he wanted to notify his friends to kill the animal by joining forces. So the settler directed the boat so that the bear could not go ashore.
At first, he made every effort to mislead the oar’s vigilance, and finally made a special decision, because he saw the boat close to him and decided to enter it. A terrible rumble began, the boat did not overturn, but after some time the misio crept inside. Everybody would have thought that a terrible battle would have begun, but where – the bear sat down peacefully, because apparently he liked that it was flowing comfortably. As soon as the settler wanted to paddle towards the island, the bear was purring and wanted to approach him, but stopped all enemy steps as soon as the boat was heading towards the forest. When they reached the shore, the bear went down seriously, looked gently and significantly at the settler and soon disappeared into the forest.
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A certain preacher listed eight evangelical blessings in his sermon, but one did not hold on to the other. After the sermon a lady of things to the preacher: Masses, priests, you have forsaken your Lord one blessing in your sermon. How is it, she will ask which preacher? The lady will tell him: Behold, those who were not on the preaching of your Lord are blessed.
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Count de Soissons had a yellow beard. Once hunting with King Henry IV, he caught one not young peasant who had no beard anymore. In order to make the king laugh, he started to joke with the peasant that he had no beard. The peasant remained silent for a long time. Finally, when the Count continued to ask him why there was no beard, he replied, “Oh my Lord, at the time when God was giving out his beards, I came to the very end, when there were no more but yellow beards. What I saw, I preferred none to have a beard, rather than to take yellow.
In the living room.
– Do you not smoke?
– No, she is foolish about smoking.
– But when he was young, he smoked?
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When the priest sang a passionate song in Latin in the church, a village grandmother crying.
– Do you know Latin? – She asked the other one. – You cry and probably do not even understand what the priest is singing – she criticized her neighbour.
– That’s not why I cry – rekła baba. – I weep because I remember my beloved donkey, who died to me recently; he roared in the same voice as the priest, and when he was breathing, he was kneeling in the same silence – the answer was given.
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A farmer, unable to reach a market with a mill that sold a pig at the fair, cried out hiding his wallet in his pocket: “Well, if so, that’s my money and you’re guilty.
Suicide with depression Funny stories
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